On love, gifts, and Valentine's day...

Valentine's Day is fast approaching and as it happens every year, Michael and I get into an argument about it.  He wants to be a sort of Atheist Jehova's witness.  He wants to not believe in God and renounce gift giving as part of his non religion.  I, on the other hand, am a sucker for gifts and gift giving.  I am bitter about being born on Christmas Eve and the absence of birthday parties in school and all that jazz.  I really enjoy giving gifts.  You will never, ever, get a pair of socks from me as a gift.  Never!  Gifts are tokens of appreciation, should be fun, and special.  Occasionally I am open to practical gifts, sometimes the wants and the needs can match up.  For example, Michael once gave me an air purifier for Christmas, or my birthday (they get confused at times).  It was the year I spent Christmas in Puerto Rico without him. He picked me up from the airport and when we got to my place there were several gifts on the couch for me.  I was thrilled.  One of them was the air purifier.  Practical, but loving, since I had been diagnosed with asthma and refused to give up my pet cat Boo Boo (may be rest in peace).  I have fought long and hard against Michael on this birthday/Christmas gift business, and I believe he has given up the fight.

Valentine's day is a different story.  Michael is in the camp that believes that this is a made up Hallmark holiday.  I point out this is not true, it actually has a long history behind it:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentine's_Day

...if you are interested.  However, he hates buying gifts and fights it - every year.

This is my position on gift giving: it need not be expensive, it need not be wrapped in a bow, it should not be viewed as a chore.  If that is how you see it, then you need to change your outlook on life because you are being a "glass half empty" kind of person.  I choose to be a "glass half full" kind of person and here is why.  I am very lucky.  I have wonderful parents who gave me everything I needed to succeed in life: brains, good looks, health, love, work ethic...the list goes on and on.  I have the best brothers a girl can have.  I have four gorgeous nieces and a handsome nephew. I have the best in-laws a girl can have, great friends, a fabulous husband and the most wonderful daughter on the planet.  Giving them something to show I love them can never be a chore. Never.  Does it suck that the gifts are attached to a calendar that I disagree with.  Yes! If I had it my way Christmas would be in October - which is probably when Jesus was born anyway, and my birthday would stand alone.  But that is life.  If it weren't for the calendar, would we really stop and get a gift or a card just because for these people who enrich our lives?  Probably not.  I remember one card I got from my friend Jecksan that showed a hand with flowers in it, and inside it said "just because I was thinking of you" or something to that effect.  It was on my bulletin board for years, that's how rare such cards are.  I am saying, we should thank the unilateral calendar for reminding us to do something for those we love.

We don't have to go all crazy and spend all this money and go over the top.  There are many ways to show appreciation.  No Michael, saying "every day with you is gift enough" will not work every time.

For my women friends out there, here is an idea that many men had said was a great one.  I made Michael a gift book once.  Yep.  About two years into dating him I made him a notebook with all my likes and dislikes.  I wrote down sizes, colors, what gifts were unacceptable (i.e. a blender for Valentines day - unless he expressly heard me say I wanted one). It even had pictures from magazines. Oh yeah! He got me a red microwave oven once, because I didn't have one and told him I wouldn't get one until I found a red one.  That is the kind of gift that warms your heart.  Something I really wanted, yet practical.  Every guy we have told the story of the gift book has said "I wish my girlfriend/wife would make me one of those.) So there you go ladies... get working on one.

Anyway, some people really hate Valentine's Day.  Even when I was single I never really hated it.  I just love holidays, and I love love, so why not love the love holiday?  One year, I remember my brothers got me a card and some chocolates, out of nowhere.  Didn't I tell you I had the best brothers? I know, I know, I'm cheesy, but I don't care.

Last year I was very pregnant for Valentine's day.  Michael, knowing how sensitive I am about gifts and how extra sensitive pregnancy made me, got me a great gift I will cherish forever.  He got me a necklace with a pendant of a mother holding a baby.  Beautiful, thoughtful, and special.  Sofia was born 9 days later.  He did a great job, even if he was thinking "Damn Hallmark holiday" as he was buying it.

For the Linda Krystal's of the world, I found a good link about Valentine's Day.  You can choose to see it this way of you want, just don't tell me it was made up by Hallmark!

http://www.npr.org/2011/02/14/133693152/the-dark-origins-of-valentines-day

So go ahead and do something special for someone you love.  Slaughter a goat if you want to, but it is a day for love, so show someone you love them...why not!?