Life update

I am very tired.  I know, I should be, but every once in a while I just marvel at how exhausted my body truly is.

I am 25 weeks pregnant, so I am almost done with the second trimester - which was supposed to be the honeymoon. Well it was when I was pregnant with Sofia, because I didn't have to run after Sofia.  Sofia is 18 months old now.  She runs, she climbs, she gets into EVERYTHING.  She talks a lot, but we cannot make out most of it.  She is bilingual which mean she asks for "agua" and then tells you it is "cold".  She wears me out, as she is too much like her daddy and does not stop.  She is, however, a joy to be around.  She is very affectionate, and will hug and kiss me out of nowhere. She is daddy's girl, and will constantly leave me for him.  I know, I might as well get used to it.  She is also Grand daddy's girl, and will cry inconsolably whenever he leaves her. She is not doing too well with her consonants, and says "ooo" for "no", "ca" for cat and "baba" for Mama.  That one took some time to figure out but I was so happy she had a word for me it does not matter.  She is truly a happy toddler, and brings joy to all who surround her.  Her "fault" is her energy and curiosity, which means she is a little energizer bunny and curious George wrapped into one.  It is a lot for big belly momma to keep up with.

The pregnancy is going well.  I believe this little girl is moving more than Sofia was at this time; but I am told most second time mothers feel that way so who knows.  I am, however, bigger than last time and that one is easily measured by my clothes.  Maternity clothes I wore well into week 32 or 33 last time are really snug at week 25.  Again, I am mostly baby belly and can see my face and arms slimming up while my butt, boobs and belly are getting huge.  It is truly scary to think about how big I still can get with all the time that is left.  I am having a harder time all around.  More cramps, sharper pains, and the infamous Braxton Hicks that I never had with Sofa.  That's right.  Either I never had them or had them and didn't feel them.  The other night the pain was so intense it woke me at 2 am and I was scared shitless until I figured out what was happening.  Mind you, nothing compared to the labor contractions but when you are 24 weeks and experience that kind of pain in the middle of the night it is scary.  All of this is normal, I just was very lucky last time around.

I am still very lucky though, so I try not to complain.  I realize so many women have it much harder than I do, so I count my blessings and remind myself of this as often as I can. Sofia is so healthy and beautiful and smart.  Michael is such a good daddy and an amazing partner in all of this.  I joked with my brother the other day that Michael has given Sofia maybe one or two baths in her whole life.  However, he cooks dinner or prepared more than half of our meals and cleans the kitchen at the end of the day almost daily.  While I am busy bathing her and getting her ready for bed he is dutifully cleaning up the kitchen so that once she is down to sleep we can actually relax together, read, watch a movie.  We are also fortunate to run a small business where I can take Sofia with me, and adjust my schedule whenever necessary to meet my health needs.

The people at the greenhouse are amazing.  Everyone loves her, and they are all so truly patient with her.  I mean, if she cries too much one day, the next day I have people asking me if she is OK and what was wrong.  When she is with her grandparents, people constantly ask me where is she.  If they do not see her for a couple of days for whatever reason, the next time they see her they are all over her. "We missed you Sophy" (as most of the Mexicans call her).  They bring her treats, they give her flowers, they are truly wonderful people.  I try to imagine what it must be like to have a small child growing up around me every day at work that was not related to me, and it is hard to fathom.  I never worked anywhere this small before, so it is hard to picture a baby day in and day out at a university, or a retail store.  I imagine it would be at times such a morale booster, and at other times such a nuisance.  Our head grower made her a business card that said "Baby Boss" and "head toddler in charge".  It was very cute.  The people in the office that are not related to her treat her as their own, and are always sharing stories of when their children were that young. I am sure they will miss seeing her every day.

This week my mother is coming to help us out.  She will be staying for a few months, and keeping Sofia at home with her.  It will be an adjustment for al of us I am sure, but the extra adult in the house will help so much.  As I said before I am getting huge, which makes it complicated to constantly be on the floor with Sofia, or cleaning up after her and picking her up.  By the time I go to bed at night (usually before 10 pm) my belly is sore, and I am just ready for rest.  Most days I can feel myself falling asleep on the couch around 9 ish.  Sofia is usually a good sleeper ( sleeping from 8 to 7 most nights).  Which only gives me about an hour of Sofia free time in the evenings, and maybe an hour and a half during the day when she naps.  Try to picture that. I get up between 6:30 and 7 most days.  On good days I can have a cup of coffee with my husband before he leaves for work and Sofia is up.  I make it to work by 9 am at the latest, which gives me an hour and a half to eat breakfast, give Sofia breakfast, and get us both read for work.  We usually take about 45 minutes for lunch.  She naps once a day for an hour or at most two hours.  That means that from 9-5 ( or 6) we are constantly going.  It gets harder and harder to get stuff done at work with her there the older she gets.  You would be amazed at what I can achieve at nap time.  I do not mind it though, because I am taking care of my baby, and no one better than me to do it.  I hate the idea of anyone other than us or the grandparents taking care of her.

We are making peace with the idea that next year we will need to find her a day care or preschool.  She will be turning two, and with the new baby it will be too much to do at work.  We see it as  an opportunity for her to get socialized with other children, but it still breaks my heart.  I just do not see any other way, other than staying home which means less money all around for we would have to hire someone else to do my work at  the business.  I will however hopefully be able to bring my new baby to work as I did with Sofia, and breast feed her and take care of her every need during her first year or two if we are lucky.  A part of me knows it is the best thing for Sofia, to interact with other kids and start learning what life at "school" will be like.  But boy do I hate the idea of strangers taking care and comforting my baby.  Ugh! I am sure I will cry like  baby when the time comes. My heart goes out to all those mommies who had to leave their babies at daycare when they were but a few weeks old. Sofia woke up crying from her nap today, so I took her into Michael's office and rubbed her back on my lap, where she fell asleep again.  I hate to think about her waking up crying without me there to comfort her.

For now we try to focus on the fact that I have to finish baking this baby...three more months!  And how lucky Sofia is to have one grand mother moving in while the other grand mother lives next door.  I never even met my grandmothers, for they both passed away before I was born.  She is so lucky! 


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