Green beans

For at least a month I have been thinking of blogging.  I miss it.  There are things I want to write about, and so I start them in my head but never get to actually write about it. I am too busy.

Here is my usual process.  I think of something, and then I can't stop thinking about it.  And so I start writing it in my head as I sort laundry, or wash my hair.  What usually ends up happening is that one night I am up for some reason and it all comes together and so I write it out in the next couple of days.

The problem is I have a 2 month old with colic and an almost 2 year old, so there is very little spare time.  I do not sleep much, so there is never a night I am up for no reason.  If I am up, believe me I am busy bouncing a baby or something.  When I am washing my hair I am thinking about the grocery list or the laundry or something I forgot to do at work.  Every once in awhile I think about blogging about my daily craziness, but thinking about it makes me more tired and so I don't.  Sometimes, I catch an article on my phone while I nurse or catch a glimpse of a news story and my minds starts to work on something on guns, or immigration, but I never get there.

To break my blogging silence I am going to share a story that I will have to live with for the rest of my life, and it is a good illustration of just how tired I am.  My brother got here on Friday and on Saturday the two of us went to the grocery store with the two girls as Michael worked.  Just a  normal trip to the store.  Sofia is sitting in the cart that Kano was pushing.  Savannah is strapped to my chest with the Moby wrap.  We check out and load the kids and the groceries in the van.  My  brother says: "That was not that hard." I was putting my wallet back in the diaper bag and that is when I notice I am not wearing my engagement ring.  SHIT!!!

Now I have had that ring for almost five years and it means the world to me.  I have loved it from the moment Michael gave it to me.  It is a gorgeous ring, and how can anyone not love the symbol of when your life's partner asked you to marry him?  It was such a wonderful proposal, such a special day, such a great man...such an expensive ring. My beautiful ring! And so when I noticed it was not on my finger I almost had a panic attack.

I said to my brother: "My ring is not on my finger!" and he said: "What!?".  And so the search started.  Kano is looking in every grocery bag, in the shopping cart under the car in the car seats while I frantically unpacked the diaper bag three times in a row.  I kept saying "There is no way it can be anywhere else, I would have felt it fall off my finger it is so heavy...".  Well it was no where to be found in the car and so Kano went back to the supermarket and tried to retrace my steps.  He said he looked inside the ice cream fridge and people were looking at him like he was nuts.  He looked on every shelf he could remember I touched. Nothing.

While I waited a nice woman came to ask me if I needed help. She saw me with all my doors open, holding a newborn, with a toddler in a car seat and figured something bad had happened.  I told her what happened and there was a look of pity in her eyes.  "I'm glad your brother is with you and I hope you find it.  Good luck."  There are still good people in the world.  I broke down and called Michael to tell him.  He was so calm.  He said it was OK.  It was, after all, just a ring and could be replaced.  At a considerable cost, but still.

Finally I went inside and reported to the customer service lady what had happened.  There was that look of pity again. She said "Maybe someone will turn it in" but her eyes said "yeah right that's gonna happen". I walked outside defeated and we drove home utterly depressed.  Again we searched.  I checked my dresser, the floor of my bedroom.  Kano looked outside on the grass and the steps just in case.  Finally I started to bring the groceries in when I saw Michael walking up to me.  I started to tear up.  "I LOST THE RING!" was all that was going through my mind.  He hugged me and said it would be OK.

Michael was being a total Buddhist about the whole thing.  It was eerie how calm he was.  Why stress over something material?  We are fine.  The kids are fine.
Michael: "You will get another one eventually.  Much less expensive and it will probably be a few years, but you can get another one."
Lisa: "But I love that ring."
Michael: "Apparently not enough. I mean. You love the kids, you would never lose the kids, but the ring..."

And there it was.  Worse than losing the ring was the reality that I would never live this moment down.  I would forever be the butt of a million jokes of the girl that lost the ring.  That's when I started doing what anyone in my situation would do, I started making excuses for myself.  "I have not had a decent night of sleep in two months.  I was recently cut open.  I am sleep deprived like a prisoner at Guantanamo."  But I knew that Michael had the upper hand and that no matter what I would never live it down.  My brother was shocked at how well we were taking it.  He said he would go back and look again.  Michael was saying it is worth a shot, but he seemed pleased that I had messed up so royally and that he could forever tease me about it.  He joked that he would forever get his way "Sure, you lose your engagement ring but I get in trouble for forgetting a birthday gift" sort of thing.  He even said this was worse than when he lost  my cat.
Michael and Vito, back in the day.

I want to say for the record that losing the cat was worse because we really cannot replace a pet.  Sure, we got PiGi and we love her, but Vito was our first pet that we adopted together.  He was a very cool, panther like cat that Michael lost because he left the kitchen door open.  I mean, it was October, it wasn't even a busy time of year for him.  Anyway...the day you lose your engagement ring you are not in a position to split those hairs.

Also...I am very tired.  Having a C section when you have a toddler is very hard.  Having a newborn with colic when you are recovering from a C section is even harder.  Returning to work with two small children, while one has colic and the other hits the terrible twos and you are recovering from a C section and most days you are working on 4 hours of sleep...but still.  I LOST THE RING.

Right as Kano is putting on his jacket and telling us he is going to walk all over the supermarket and then hit the pawn shops I said: "Check the bag of green beans."  I kid you not.  My gorgeous engagement ring was sitting in a produce bag full of green beans product of Mexico.  It was in the Green Bean bag.

This was taken on the day we got engaged.

I started jumping up and down.  Sofia started giggling with me.  When Sofia is happy she occasionally says "Happy Happy Happy". I jumped up and down with her saying happy happy happy. All of us in the kitchen, laughing in disbelief.  Kano said we needed to go back and claim a discount on the green beans because obviously the weight was off.

I know that I will never live it down.  Michael is still finding funny ways to slip my screw up in conversation.  But at least I have my ring on my finger while he laughs at me.

It was in the green bean bag!!!!


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