It always surprises me when I look at my blog and realize how long it has been since I wrote something on here.  It shouldn't surprise me at this point.  Life gets in the way, I guess.  I know I have said it before, but when you are raising a family and running a small business, there is little time for things like: everything that is not essential.  However, I sit in my office this afternoon and wonder if I am defining "essential" as I should.

It is Easter Sunday.  It is Sunday afternoon and I am sitting in my office waiting to process orders to ship first thing Sunday.  I scheduled more than enough people to handle this, but even good people get sick- or flake- from time to time. This is what responsibility is.  It's showing up and getting it done.  Even on Easter Sunday.  In a perfect world my little family would be hiking near a waterfall.  Instead, we are all here.  But is it THAT bad?  No, it isn't.  My girls are having fun.  They had candy (always available in our office).  I printed them color sheets so they made coloring books of Tom and Jerry and The Lion King.  They had a little dance party earlier.  Right now one is dancing to Taylor Swift while the other is drawing a face on a "balloon" she made out of a glove.  Life is pretty perfect.  They are 4 and 6 and they understand that we have this greenhouse and sometimes that means that we are all here "working".  Sometimes that means we play, we wait, but no matter what we are together, healthy, and in my mind wealthy.  Yes, wealthy.  Because even though we still live in that mobile home we have the luxury of owning three homes.  We have our health.  We have food, GOOD food, mind you.  Like fresh asparagus my father in law grows for us.  I mean, seriously?  We need for nothing.  So yes, we are wealthy.

We have our health.  Now this brings me to the real reason I am sitting here writing this.  I have had a headache for eight days now.  I am waiting on the insurance to approve a treatment of oxygen (which might as well require a majority in Congress) and really still don't even know if that is going to get rid of them.  Nothing I have tried to get rid of it has worked.  Day after day a throbbing pain on the left side of my head.  Sometimes it's a small throbbing, sometimes it radiates all over my forehead, sometimes my eyes feel like they are going to burst.  It is painful, but more than anything it is annoying.  Yes annoying.  Because I am a mom and a boss and don't have the luxury of staying home in a dark room.  Nor do I want to.  Who wants their life to be like that?  Hell no!  My mother in law kept the girls yesterday.  I could have stayed home and slept. Instead my husband and I went out for Thai food.  We also went to a boulder climbing place we wanted to check out, and he climbed his little heart out.  I wanted to do it too, but was afraid that was too much for my little cluster headache having self to try.  And that is what pisses me off.  Not being able to do something.  Seriously.  But I also realize how lucky we are.  I mean, it's just a headache, right? I also hate how tired I am at the end of the day.  You would be surprised how exhausting it is to live your life with a constant headache.

Don't get me wrong, there is a part of me that is scared of what else it could be.  I'm scheduled for an MRI next week to confirm that it is nothing major.  I hope this is all it is.  a big time major pain in the ass nuissance that may interfere with my daily activities, but won't stop me from enjoying this blessed life I lead.

Happy Easter folks.  Here's to redifning the essential in our lives.


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